


My Own Heart

by Author_Of_Sin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Other, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3825835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_Of_Sin/pseuds/Author_Of_Sin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's watched her from the beginning, heart strings tugging towards her. But it is not meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Own Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr. Just a bit of first person Solas angst that I forgot to post here. Enjoy!

I never hear her when she comes in. She’s quieter than a spirit, almost as if the fade itself keeps the sounds of her footsteps from reaching my ears. Sometimes, when my back is turned, I’ll hear a whisper of soft leather against fabric behind me, a quiet breath of a sigh. But when I turn, she’s gone.

In Haven, we talked often, sometimes about the fade, sometimes about the ancient elvhen. She had an almost scholarly interest in every wisp of knowledge I had obtained over time. Since we came to Skyhold, she seems to have little interest.

The times when I have seen her passing through my modest rotunda, I’ve tried to catch her attention, but she seems not to hear me. I can only assume the weight of being the Inquisitor is too heavy a burden for her to notice my subtle methods of reaching out to her.

I can imagine it to be as tasking as the burden I bear.

We shared a moment in the fade. She had an astounding grasp on her surroundings that not many would be able to comprehend. She knew where we were, guided our path, almost as if she were one of the fabled dreamers of old. It was a fascinating experience.

I recently told her of my regard for her. A weaker woman could have faltered when I told her how strongly I admired her. She did not.

She continues to inspire me.

I did not think it possible to find such a person as her in this modern era. At least, not outside of the fade. But even there, the fragments like her that I’ve witnessed were all in different spirits, never to be found in a single entity. To see them all gathered into one being is a treasure beyond hope. Despite her many trials and adversaries, she rises above it all to inspire and rally those around her. It is no wonder so many grasp for her attention and affection.

The commander was the one to finally catch her eye. As much as jealousy would be beneath me, I cannot at times help feeling a tinge of it, when I see her smile quietly for no particular reason as she stands on the battlements.

When she leaves with the others, I sleep. I watch her from the fade. Cole also watches, in his way. We both care about her well-being, though my motives are admittedly more selfish than his.

When she travels, out of danger, I work on the fresco. I tell others that it is a tribute to her story. But it is as much a tribute to her story, as it is the telling of my own history.

She makes me want to share my secret. But I dare not. It is too soon, even if I wished to know how she would react. Any other elf would try to destroy me. Her… her I am not so certain of. Nothing is certain where she is concerned. Even my own heart.


End file.
